That’s certainly a pessimistic view, and it’s ultimately not even true from an objective standpoint. But to each their own.
Say what you want about their choice of technologies, but Discourse is remarkably reliable. Have you personally played around with your own instance?
No, my view is true. But you are right, the judgement also depends on ones standpoint. My criteria for acceptable software, let alone good quality is much higher than that of most and my tolerance for crap is much lower. And so is my belief in and tolerance for fairy tales like “1000 eyes” when in reality even “crown jewels” like OpenSSL are known and proven to not even have 4 capable eyes looking at them.
I’ll say something that is damn true but most won’t like it (and me for saying it): writing reliable, safe, good quality software is not “fun” (which seems to be the criterion for most developers). It is hard work and needs plenty experience and discipline.
Discourse is FOSS, but XF is paid. Then again, XF is more for a “traditional” forum experience and it has a ton of addons available as well (many of them are borked/have security vulnerabilities :c ).
what about Yetanotherforum?