Funniest Quote Requests


#1

Today I’m having a blast checking on freelancer websites…
I already posted some offer in the The Ball Pit, but I thought about creating a topic for peeps to share similar stuff that happened to them, or they saw.

Here’s a fresh one.

Quote for new website.

Client requirements

i) You will have to build the website, no template, to shopify, no woocommerce, a full website free water charity donation website.

ii) You wi also instegreate 3 payment gateway, alden,hyperwallet,paypal

iii) You must be ready and willing to give a free hosting

iv) The budget is $100 canadian…ONLY SERIOUS ENQURY


#2

I just remembered something funny that happened to me a few years ago…
I was working on a project and all of the sudden the client went from a “it’s approved I only want a couple tweaks” state to the client getting aggressive.
He was not happy that I was taking so long to get back to him with an update, on a weekend (even if I had been replying to his emails on going).

So he gets to the point that even my email sig enraged him. I usually sign with “Best Regards,” , and the “Best” enraged him as he took as me going one up because his sig was “Regards,”.

…I was like WTF… just happened?!"…
I even asked for a couple persons to read the exchange to pin point what I had missed… but it was too subtle and no one was able to understand what happened.


#3

Holy shitz… it keeps getting better.

Freelancer required for SEO of existing website for minimum 30 days

Max Budget: 20 usd.

Yeah that’s right, 20usd for 30 days SEOing. mwahaha


#4

If it was per hour, it would be decent


#5

Nope, $20 for the whole month.


#6

This morning someone came to chat and here is the straight copy and paste of the opening question from them.

“Hello u sell server VPS linux allow phishing spaming ?”


#7

Well…do you?

For real, why ask that? I think it’s pretty obvious that most (if not all) companies won’t


#8

People don’t like it when spammers lie, people don’t like it when they’re honest either… these poor fkers can’t catch a break, sheeshh :laughing:


#9

The best quote: “The end is nigh.”


#10

I see your proposal and I raise you this:

I’ll install Wordpress with the default theme and walk away, no hosting, for $100.


#12

I think I won the prize.

Just in.

I’d like to receive your help with the Upwork account.

-Reason:
I am a full stack web developer from China.
My name is [redacted].
I have the rich experience with the web/mobile development, but I get less benefit than my skill because of the account hourly rate.
As you know , in the China account of Upwork the hourly rate is relatively lower than the Europe account.
So I need the Europe account , to solve this problem I really need your help.
If you have never created the account of Upwork with your real information before, then you can help me.
Else if you have your account on Upowrk now, then I am going to lend your account for three years.

-Step:

  1. I am going to create the account with your information(name, address,image) on your comptuer.
    reason:I tried to create the account

After the account is created successfully and the video call is passed, you just only have to turn the computer on at your home only one time and I can use the computer via Teamviewer.

Then you would be paid 100$~150$ every month via paypal(for two months 100$, after that 150$)
I think our cooperation will be going well for a long term.

If you can’t create the account with your information, you can introduce your friend that want to work with me.

Could you let me know your thought?
Thank you for your time and consideration.


#13

I had this one today, few hour ago.

A guy wanted me to install him a torrent downloading script (quickbox) on a shared hosting plan with hostgator so that he can use some perl module